real eyes

i learn new shit everyday. and i really never took the oppurtunity to take advantage of it. basically, i took it for granted. that's where that word regret comes into play. but i dont regret anything really. i just take my downfalls as a lesson. it may sting, hurt, make me depressed how shit plays out. but really, who cares? only ppl that really care about to do. other than that, no one. so i just try to live my life.

Love

i realize you can not be in love 'with' someone if they are not in love wit you. the keyword is with.

Bar Fight??????

yea, st. patrick's day was last thursday. and i could not have had a better time unless those brazilian chick were giving out oral invitations.

at the same time, i could not have had the worse night i've ever had. i'm as drunk as i've ever been. same wit my friends. i am at least still coherent. but some guys decide to call my friend a bitch and push him. you can conclude the rest. or at least have to because i am writing this blog from my new phone cause i got my stolen that night. wtf

If only it were that easy

not a day goes by i think of how to be a better person. but everytime i begin to feel like i am, i learn something that combats the way i feel. the way i think. combats who i am. and it hurts. cause wtf am i to hold on too?

life is pain. no pain, no gain. witout a contrast, you would know the beauty of pleasure. if only it were that easy.

Micro Manager

I've become a more of a mirco manager in the pass month or so. Between buying and selling, and squeezing little misc. activities into my daily life I've kinda never considered cause of lazyiness. And for the most part lack of mental discipline.

TEH HACKTIVISTS HAVE ARRIVED!!!!!

Recently on the news, there has been a "cyber war" between a young group of hackers named Anonymous and major organizations. All because Wikileaks was shut down.

I love it when a small group make a fool out of the big companies, and gov't associations. It is a big shout out to the public that there must be something these companies must be doing for an attack. Not that they are randomly selected, let alone literally attacked by a small ass group. Maybe because they have information they hide from the public and their clients. And clearly the public keeps getting fed that this AWESOME group of children are bad.



http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41972190/ns/technology_and_science-security/?GT1=43001


I believe the public must NOT be hidden from anything. And if it simply took the closing of wikileaks to arise a group that feels the same way, so be it. No matter what they do. It can't be any worse than what humans have done to the planet, right? So

Into change

I've been staying with my grandmother since I've been a baby. Now I feel.... Kinda like breaking out of the nest like a fucking criminal. Why I make it sound so bad is check this...





As I've said before I've been living with my granny forever. And she loves me soooo much, as if I were her actual son. It is kinda tough to get her to understand that I'm ready to move on. Let alone mentally prepare myself to live on my own, you know? So for me to state I'm going anywhere, she's as vigilant as that one dude, Richard Gere in Brooklyn's Finest. She asks, why. She says things to make it seem like if I left the house would collapse on her head. I just brush it off and try not to entertain it because she'll win. Not that it's easy or anything, but I understand that I have to do what's best for me.



So, the breaking out part. The scheme. I plan to be outta my grandmother's basement at least before Thanksgiving of this year. Where to go? Well, I've considered a lot of places. New York, Florida, maybe even Illinois. Somewhere with a lot of people. Because honestly, here in Maryland, you've gotta know a shit load of ppl to keep tabs and be able to go to these rinky-deek parties. And I only know a few folks. Sooooo, bored as shit.

I'm saving money like never before to prepare myself to leave. That's a change. I look at so many things differently because I simple take the time to learn about it. Music, television, games, cars, people, etc. That's a change. As I realize I've been slowly changing, I've also realized I like it. Not because of the simple fact I'm changing, but because it makes me more of a knowledgeable person. I can understand more about different things without a biased threshold, or one sided view on certain subjects. So I'm into the change thing. A lot of people should not only consider it, but do it because our existance as the dominate race depends on it.