real eyes

i learn new shit everyday. and i really never took the oppurtunity to take advantage of it. basically, i took it for granted. that's where that word regret comes into play. but i dont regret anything really. i just take my downfalls as a lesson. it may sting, hurt, make me depressed how shit plays out. but really, who cares? only ppl that really care about to do. other than that, no one. so i just try to live my life.

Love

i realize you can not be in love 'with' someone if they are not in love wit you. the keyword is with.

Bar Fight??????

yea, st. patrick's day was last thursday. and i could not have had a better time unless those brazilian chick were giving out oral invitations.

at the same time, i could not have had the worse night i've ever had. i'm as drunk as i've ever been. same wit my friends. i am at least still coherent. but some guys decide to call my friend a bitch and push him. you can conclude the rest. or at least have to because i am writing this blog from my new phone cause i got my stolen that night. wtf

If only it were that easy

not a day goes by i think of how to be a better person. but everytime i begin to feel like i am, i learn something that combats the way i feel. the way i think. combats who i am. and it hurts. cause wtf am i to hold on too?

life is pain. no pain, no gain. witout a contrast, you would know the beauty of pleasure. if only it were that easy.

Micro Manager

I've become a more of a mirco manager in the pass month or so. Between buying and selling, and squeezing little misc. activities into my daily life I've kinda never considered cause of lazyiness. And for the most part lack of mental discipline.

TEH HACKTIVISTS HAVE ARRIVED!!!!!

Recently on the news, there has been a "cyber war" between a young group of hackers named Anonymous and major organizations. All because Wikileaks was shut down.

I love it when a small group make a fool out of the big companies, and gov't associations. It is a big shout out to the public that there must be something these companies must be doing for an attack. Not that they are randomly selected, let alone literally attacked by a small ass group. Maybe because they have information they hide from the public and their clients. And clearly the public keeps getting fed that this AWESOME group of children are bad.



http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41972190/ns/technology_and_science-security/?GT1=43001


I believe the public must NOT be hidden from anything. And if it simply took the closing of wikileaks to arise a group that feels the same way, so be it. No matter what they do. It can't be any worse than what humans have done to the planet, right? So

Into change

I've been staying with my grandmother since I've been a baby. Now I feel.... Kinda like breaking out of the nest like a fucking criminal. Why I make it sound so bad is check this...





As I've said before I've been living with my granny forever. And she loves me soooo much, as if I were her actual son. It is kinda tough to get her to understand that I'm ready to move on. Let alone mentally prepare myself to live on my own, you know? So for me to state I'm going anywhere, she's as vigilant as that one dude, Richard Gere in Brooklyn's Finest. She asks, why. She says things to make it seem like if I left the house would collapse on her head. I just brush it off and try not to entertain it because she'll win. Not that it's easy or anything, but I understand that I have to do what's best for me.



So, the breaking out part. The scheme. I plan to be outta my grandmother's basement at least before Thanksgiving of this year. Where to go? Well, I've considered a lot of places. New York, Florida, maybe even Illinois. Somewhere with a lot of people. Because honestly, here in Maryland, you've gotta know a shit load of ppl to keep tabs and be able to go to these rinky-deek parties. And I only know a few folks. Sooooo, bored as shit.

I'm saving money like never before to prepare myself to leave. That's a change. I look at so many things differently because I simple take the time to learn about it. Music, television, games, cars, people, etc. That's a change. As I realize I've been slowly changing, I've also realized I like it. Not because of the simple fact I'm changing, but because it makes me more of a knowledgeable person. I can understand more about different things without a biased threshold, or one sided view on certain subjects. So I'm into the change thing. A lot of people should not only consider it, but do it because our existance as the dominate race depends on it.

"If you ain't know...."

Look, I don't believe I explained to anyone who doesn't know me, or at least to anyone who has watsed the time to read my blog that I love cars. Specifically Hondas. I love who they look, drive, sound, everything about them. What I plan to accomplish is to AT LEAST rebuild a motor and make it into my daily driver.



My first car was a redneck's cheap attempt in making a rice burner. A 1996 Honda Civic Sedan, modified with a JDM B16A, Wal-Mart coilovers, Autozone Headlamps, Autozone Taillights, M3 style side view mirrors, and other inexpensive upgrade that would pronounce to everyone who say me in it that I was a fucking retard. Painted bright red from Macco. Which actually wasn't the case. I studied and bought the appropriate parts I need to fix all of the misfits. I eventually ended up broke, and having to sell the car due to no tags, and insurance all that shit. And had no car for about a year.



My next car was 1992 Honda Prelude Si. Pacific Blue Pearl, 5 speed, alloy wheels, clean interior, fully loaded like a fucking baked potato from you local steakhouse. CD Player, Cassette player, moon roof, power windows, everything. So damn sexy. I got it from the guy whom had owned the car it in 1992. He found out that I would be interested through a sells guy who know I need a car. This guy (Harees) asks for me while I'm in the shop working. Gives me a card with his name, number and details of the car. $1000 for it. I had to get it. So i did. So when i did, i had to wait 1 full month to get insurance and tags on it because i couldn't afford it. So when i do finally get tags, i take it out. Hung out with my friends, drove it to work. I even raced a BMX 5-series. But then I was driving, and my wheel just falls off.... Totaled my fresh ass prelude. Sold it for $500 to this guy from North Carolina. Smh



Now I own a 1997 Civic Sedan. Green, with stained interior I bought from a technician I used towork wit. Got it for $350. A steal if you consider that it was perfectly maintained. I named her Edna. Why? Idk, just a name that seems to fit a chick who had been abused but at the same time taken car of. Now she's in good hands. I plan to make her faster, but I can't even afford car insurance. So yup, she's been parked for the past couple of months. Smfh...............


I love cars, but it is an expensive hobby. I have never gotten the chance to enjoy any of the cars I've owned. I kinda live my dreams of car through my friends. I've helped with swaps, adjustments and repairs. While I watch them drive off.. But I am much an enthusiast.

I am into more than Honda when it comes to the automotive game. From the Ferrari FF to the damn Honda FCX Clarity. So I know a bit more than your average rice burner. If you ain't know by now....

You can go to my photobucket, lilg101_photos@photobucket.com and check out my first car.

I opened my eyes, and then....

Yea, I have returned with a lot more experiences and lessons learned. New ways of communicating, observing, and expressing myself. Just many things have changed since I last been able to blog. So as before, I'm doing it for myself to just observe my on growth as a person.



It was like I opened my eyes, and then looked at myself just withering away as I got older. I realize as you get older a lot of people forget about their hobbies. Forget about what makes them happy, or at least stop doing these that make them happy. Trying to keep up with certain responsibilities in life kinda run your life. In turn, you end up not being able to do thing you like, or just give up trying to at all. But you just can't let life get the best of you. Which in this case happened to me. I love writing, I love music, and I love cars. But after I got out of school, i had to pay my student loans back. Having to get a job. Then a car. Buying tools, paying speeding tickets, car insurance, loans, ect. was really getting the best of me. I never really made time to write, or pretty much anything besides keeping up with my financial responsibilities. I felt like I had a lot on my plate.

Now, I plan to just attack these my responsiblities and still manage to do the shit I like. So here we go.